In recognition of National Homeless Awareness Week, I attempted to give away 10,000 copies of my e-book. ($8 value) Many enjoyed my inspirational story of triumph over adversity and many purchased copies to assist me in my efforts to help homeless teen girls.
If you would like to still support my efforts to help teen girls aging out of fostercare, visit my website www.thankgodfortheshelter.com to order your book or holiday gift.
Free offer ended 11/21/09
Blessings are gifts that bestow favor, prosperity and welfare. You can be on the receiving end or the giving end and experience great joy.
I had always been a giver and I had always felt fortunate. But on one snowy morning, I didn’t feel very blessed. I was freezing while walking to work because I didn’t have a car. The gloves and scarf a woman at the shelter gave me were just what I needed. I knew I had to stay focused on the cars speeding by me, splashing filthy water as they passed, but tears blurred my vision. It was then these words came to me: I have everything I need.
My tears immediately turned to tears of joy. I had pep in my step as I walked and contemplated the words rolling in my head and filling my spirit.
Later that day, I shared my experience with a massage client. I knew I wasn’t supposed to do that, but this client also was a friend. She reached for my hands and prayed for my strength, wisdom and peace of mind in the midst of my storm. “You are such an inspiration to me,” she said, but on this day, I could not take credit. What happened earlier that day was simply a divine act. Suddenly I felt peace and serenity.
That evening, as I prepared to walk home from my office, two of my neighbors at Northwest Activities Center, Carl and Dewayne, were leaving and offered me a ride. I accepted, and made a wise crack about eating peanut butter and crackers for dinner.
At the shelter, about 16 families shared six bathrooms and two kitchens on each floor. I didn’t go away to college, so I was in the dark about how community housing worked. You had to keep your food in your room if you didn’t want it to disappear. If your food was frozen, it would more than likely remain that way until you cooked it. But fruit or snacks would be gone when you got back to the kitchen.
They didn’t believe I lived in a shelter until I gave Dewayne directions. They took me to Kmart first and purchased groceries, dinnerware, cleaning supplies and an electric skillet. I told them my story as we shared a bottle of wine in the parking lot. I was pleased they didn’t judge me, as I had judged others before becoming homeless myself.
My mind could not conceive I would ever live like this. Since I was 18, I had lived on my own, caring for myself. I was legal guardian to my younger brothers. My mother’s mental illness made her unable to care for us and I desperately wanted to protect them from the things I thought no child should have to experience.
I got custody of my youngest brother after he fell from a third floor balcony. He wasn’t quite two years old and I was 23 with no children of my own. I couldn’t let my brother Thaddeus be separated from our family and move from foster home to foster home. My grandmother had cared for my sister Sheila, my brother Isaac and me, and I wanted to follow her example. After she passed, I also accepted custody of Isaac so that my brothers could be together.
Now I was happy that Tad and Isaac were old enough to care for themselves, because I was 39 and homeless.
I reflected on being a child, living in the projects on Detroit’s east side. The mice entertained us in our living room when we had company. They ate through steel wool and stole the cheese off the mouse traps. My grandma had us clean religiously. We had to wash floors and baseboards, remove everything from cabinets, wash them out and put roach powder down before lining the shelves with newspaper.
I promised myself I would never live in the projects or anyplace where roaches or mice also resided. I had not seen any rodents in my temporary home, but I felt I had broken my promise to myself. I felt like a huge failure.
A few years before that, I had lived in a two-bedroom townhome with a loft, full basement and fireplace in a Detroit suburb. I hosted pamper parties where ten to twenty women gathered in my home to enjoy footbaths, massages, facials, book reviews and music. No pamper parties were going on in the shelter. Everyone there seemed to have a dark cloud over them. Sadness and despair was in the air.
Could it have been my three divorces that had brought me to this place? Was it the company I’d worked for that folded three years earlier, just as I accepted my calling as a healer and enrolled in school to become a massage therapist? Perhaps it was the grief associated with my two miscarriages? I heard a lot of other people blame their situations on the aftermath of Sept. 11, 2001 – maybe that was it?
I was broke and homeless. I couldn’t find a decent job. Interviewers said I was overqualified. Overqualified to eat? “If a man don’t work, a man don’t eat,” I would sarcastically retort when I saw homeless people before. But now I was that homeless person. I was willing to work, and had skills to offer any company that would hire me.
In the shelter, once inhabited by nuns, my mind wandered back to the morning I received the divine revelation: I have everything I need. I meditated on those words and wrote down every blessing I received that day.
By the time I went to bed that night, I resolved everyone would receive the gift of massage for Christmas that year. Even strangers would be invited to receive free massages. I wanted to give, and I was testing myself to see if I really had everything I needed.
I tried to sleep, but the stress I had been under for so long kept my mind wandering. Thoughts of my business haunted me. I had big dreams. I wanted to be a massage therapist, but I also wanted to do something that would make Detroit a healthier place. The energy here was nothing like the energy in Maryland. It seemed like everyone around me was complaining and depressed.
I was struggling trying to transition from being a service provider to the director of an association of complementary and alternative medicine (CAM) professionals, because I knew that people needed to be educated about holistic therapies before they would embrace them. I wanted to gather all of the struggling CAM professionals together to educate the masses. That was my goal. I figured once people were educated, they would line up to learn more about a natural approach to wellness. I was wrong.
The CAM professionals in Detroit did not want to come together, and the community I served couldn’t have cared less about embracing a holistic lifestyle. I was beginning to feel like the others, and that wasn’t an option. I had to shake this negativity.
“Give and you shall receive, good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over.” That’s what I‘d been taught. “Why wasn’t I receiving?” “What was I doing wrong?” I asked myself over and over. One of my spiritual leaders said to me, “Be not weary in well doing, for in due season you will reap if you faint not.” And yet, I was still getting the message I have everything I needed. How was this possible? I had to open my eyes.
If you have a highlighter, use it here: You can not see if your eyes are not open. This simply means when you are in a crisis, you get tunnel vision. You get focused on the problem so deeply you are sometimes blinded to the solution. Your eyes are closed to awesome possibilities.
I must say, however, if this is you, you are not alone. Many of us were raised by parents who lived in survival mode all their lives. We are all just surviving, one of my cousins often says. She says we can’t take on other people’s problems; they have to learn to survive for themselves.
I have chosen not to embrace survival mode, struggling just to stay alive with limited resources and growth potential. In fact, when I see it rear its ugly head, I shout, “I thrive – not survive!” Say it with me now: “I thrive – not survive!”
The difference between thriving and surviving is like two massage businesses serving the same community. One is home-based and has just enough clients to pay the bills. The other is a wellness center with eight therapists who provide relaxation treatments, educational workshops and products for thousands of clients. The first operates in survival mode, with minimal expenses or requirements. The second operates so its entire team can thrive, serving a multitude with multiple revenue streams.
Seventeen years of caring for two children who weren’t mine, three divorces, corporate downsizing, the aftermath of the September 11 terrorist attacks and failed business models were all crisis situations. I survived these tests to learn how to thrive. “Be still and know that I am God” was my greatest lesson. It took me several years, but I got it.
I’m convinced it took me so long to learn the lesson because I had been forced to be a leader since I was young. I was the oldest sister, a surrogate mother, young retail manager, entrepreneur and holistic health educator. I had little higher education, so I educated myself by reading business books and attending weekend workshops.
My body told me, however, something was wrong. Knowledge derived from my new career told me my bouts with depression and anxiety were signs of exhaustion. It was clear; rest was a good thing, not a sign of failure. The shelter was a blessing in disguise. It would protect me and allow me to heal. The shelter was my place to rest while I regrouped.
Add ”Thank God for the Shelter” to your inspirational book collection today.
On any given night in Detroit, MI you will find thousands of homeless men, women and children living in abandoned buildings or “doubled up” with family and friends. The statistics for homelessness in Detroit vary based on the agenda of the organization sharing the data, but one this is for certain, Detroit has one of the highest unemployment rates in the country. Homeless prevention education is needed to keep families off the streets.
National Homeless Awareness Week is November 15 – 21, 2009 and one former homeless woman wants to focus on preventing homelessness not statistics and rhetoric. Versandra Kennebrew, author of “Thank God for the Shelter – Memoirs of a homeless healer” knows from personal experience that the face of homelessness is not what we typically see on television. She also knows that without a “Life Recovery Plan” the likelihood of a doctor in West Bloomfield or a factory worker on the Eastside becoming depressed and losing everything is equal during our current economic climate. During National Homeless Awareness Week, Kennebrew is presenting a series of Community Homeless Prevention Forums around Detroit in an attempt to show residents the importance of planning for a possible economic disaster.
“When I was homeless, I took a holistic approach to getting back on my feet,” Kennebrew says. She describes this process as one of personal introspection. She analyzed her situation, decided she could not fix it on her own, looked for support and a place of refuge to begin her transition, began to control the things she could control (including her health) and finally she changed her mind about her plight to find meaning and the opportunity for personal growth. She wishes however that she had a plan prior to becoming deeply depressed and without a home.
Ms. Kennebrew admits she is not an expert on homeless prevention although she is currently studying at Wayne County Community College District (WCCCD) to obtain her associates degree in Mental Health. She is preparing for her new role as a self-improvement teacher/coach. “Humility and an even greater desire to assist others in need were outcomes of my homeless experience. During the darkest days of my life, I found everlasting light. I learned that I have unlimited resources inside and around me. If I can use my homeless experience to help others tap into their infinite resources, I’ll be happy,” Kennebrew says.
Author, Versandra Kennebrew will be available to answer questions about homeless prevention at one of the free Community Homeless Prevention Forums listed below. For more information about Versandra Kennebrew or her book “Thank God for the Shelter – Memoirs of a homeless healer,” visit www.thankgodfortheshelter.com or call 866-522-3453 ext 110.
November 15, 2009
3pm – 5pm
Samaritan Center
5555 Conner Ave Detroit, MI, 48213
November 16, 2009
3pm – 5pm
Detroit Library Hubbard Branch
12929 W. Mc Nichols Detroit, MI, 48235
November 18, 2009
11am – 1pm
Barnes and Noble Wayne State University
82 West Warren Ave. Detroit, MI, 48202
November 21, 2009
3pm – 5pm
Detroit Public Library Redford Branch
21200 Grand river Detroit, MI, 48219
by Brian McKissick
National Homeless Awareness Week is November 15 – 21, 2009 and we are about to embark upon an unpresidented move to prevent homelessness by raising funds to open “Angel’s Place” – A transitional housing complex for teens aging out of foster care in Detroit.
One of the hardest periods for an average child is puberty but just imagine a child who has gone from home to home and had so many different parents that they cannot remember the names of those who have cared for them over the years. Puberty can be devastating for the child who is beginning to “smell themselves” as my grandmother used to say, and the adult who does not have the will to stick with them through the transition.
Nationwide, more children are leaving foster care without a stable home, according to the Pew Charitable Trusts. Roughly, 24,000 children who were 18 years old left the foster care system in 2005 with no family support, an increase of 41 percent since 1998. The problem of “aging out” is of gigantic proportions. About 6,000 children end up homeless each year. In addition, 1.3 million children live without homes, according to Do 1 Thing, an organization devoted to the problems of children who leave foster care and are considered “unadoptable.”
So what does it mean to “age out” of foster care? This term refers to teens between the age of 14 – 20 who are in the foster care system but have reached an age where some caregivers do not think they are cute and cuddly anymore. Because the teens have developed personality traits and behaviors that may not be appealing to the caregiver, they are over looked in the foster care selection process. Some teens simply just want their independence from the system. Others suffer with mental illness. The fact is the desire for independence and the skills to live independently do not come hand in hand.
Let us look at Thaddeus, a seventeen-year-old young man who was been cared for by his older sister since he was a toddler. He decided that he no longer wanted to follow house rules and subsequently ended up leaving home to live with neighborhood drug dealers. It’s not that Thaddeus was a gangster or drug addict; he simply wanted independence because he had worked since he was fourteen and felt that because he had money in savings and could purchase his own clothes, he was ready to leave home. He had no real male role model so the drug dealers filled the void.
In less than 30 days, Thaddeus’ poor judgment led him to jail. Although he was not involved in the crime, he lived with the men who were so without parental supervision or legal representation, his life turned into a nightmare. Fortunately, there was no evidence to keep him in jail so, after two days, he was released. He could not go back home after his experience because his sister was fearful of retaliation from the drug dealers who may have assumed he gave incriminating information to the police. Some of his options for housing included supportive independent living (SIL), a temporary shelter for teens or being homeless (living house to house or worst on the streets).
I have had the opportunity to research the SIL model and have concluded that since homeless prevention for teens is one of my ministries, I will open a facility using this model that will teach teen-aged girls self-sufficiency, life skills and entrepreneurial skills. Last year, when “Thank God for the Shelter” was published, proceeds from the book sales were donated to the Coalition on Temporary Shelter (COTS). This year, we are committed to investing proceeds into “Angles Place Detroit” a transitional housing complex for teen girls, age 14 – 20 who are ready to give independence a try.
In the spirit of the eight principles taught in “Thank God for the Shelter,” this facility will take a holistic approach to preventing homelessness. Teen residents will learn:
When you purchase your copy of “Thank God for the Shelter,” you are introduced to an inspirational resource that teaches self-sufficiency and you sow a seed into a homeless prevention ministry.
To learn more about author Versandra Kennebrew and her homeless prevention ministry visit www.thankgodfortheshelter.com. Order your book at Amazon.com.
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On July 27, 2009, Versandra Kennebrew a former homeless shelter resident in Detroit, MI will travel to Washington D.C. to attend the National Conference on Ending Homelessness.
She is seeking endorsements from homeless support organizations across the country for her book “Thank God for the Shelter – Memiors of a homeless healer” to be used as a resource to assist people in transition.
During her “How to Thrive During an Economic Storm Tour”, she has visited shelters in Michigan, Virginia and Maryland sharing the 8 principles she embraced while homeless herself. These principles not only helped her get her life back on track but they continue to assist her as an entrepreneur and author , fighting to not merely survive, but thrive during our nations economic storm.
If you are in the D.C. area July 28 – 31, visit her booth at the Renaissance Washington, DC Hotel to have your copy of her book autographed. You can also pick up a free book marker and possibly hear her speak at an area shelter or church. A complete schedule will follow.
To learn more about author, Versandra Kennebrew, visit http://www.versandrakennebrewintl.com.
